Happy end of the beginning of the holidays, readers! The extended family has gone home, all your cleverest strategic hiding spots for bott..
If your top three list of the most terrifying things you can think of doesn’t consist of 1) the deep ocean, 2) trying to escape a cornfiel..
So you’ve decided to earn a PhD in English, huh? Whether you’re beating the boss level of English degrees (having already rescued the prin..
Any time a drunk moron is sloshing a bottle of Bud Lite around while gesticulating wildly at a karaoke bar, s/he is probably doing so beca..
Hey there, buddy. You’re probably wondering why I asked you here today. Two reasons: 1) We need to talk. 2) You’re physically attached to ..
All of his photos are angled downward. Which means he’s probably shorter than everyone who’s ever taken a picture of him ever.
Like Matt Peckham and many commenters, I’m appalled—simply appalled—at the audacity of Fisher-Price. Those soulless bastards have take..
Jon Stewart has a recurring joke about Florida: “It’s America’s wang.”
I’ve only been there once before, as a kid, for my uncle’s 50th ..
Dear Peanut Butter,
I’m sorry that I did not consciously realize until recently that you are actually made out of peanuts. Like by ..
I’ve been where you are. Enjoying the night. Letting the smoothness of the jam band on stage sink into you. The bouncing bass. The sil..
Animals. In Slaughterhouse-Five, Billy Pilgrim and his fellow escaping American POWs are accosted by German civilians who point out th..
Automated parking lot payment systems. I’m talking about the kind where you pay before you drive out, or else pay with your credit car..