Substances
CategoryThe Inevitable Appeal of Bud Light Platinum
It was last month when we first saw a billboard. “What’s Bud Light Platinum?” asked one of my friends.
I guessed correctly. “Bud Li..
A Guide for Drinking Responsibly With Your Parents
My mom doesn’t drink. Rumor is she once had a white-wine spritzer and passed out, feet-up, as an ambitious undergrad at a law school party..
What the Amount of Coffee You Drink Every Day Says About You
None because you don’t like the taste – You probably talk in a baby voice.
None because you used to be addicted but have quit – You hav..
Why You Should Smoke Cigarettes
1. You will look cool
Seriously, it is an undeniable fact: when you smoke cigarettes you look cool. If anyone tells you different, ..
Signs That You’re in a Suburban Bar
Large, well-maintained bathrooms: There is more than one toilet/urinal. There are doors on the stalls and those doors have functional ..
Garth Brooks, a Giant Neurosurgeon, and the Night Emily Almost Got Drunk for the First Time
I just learned that my friend Emily died in October; she was 26. I’m using only her first name here, not to protect her identity (follow t..
Suggested Food and Drink Pairings for the Self-Destructive, Lonely and Broke
Light beer and Lean Cuisine stir fry – dinner for one.
There’s nothing like a candlelit date over fresh-made, authentic curry an..
Unearthed: My Roommates’ Failed Plan to Have Me Do Ecstasy in Duluth
In fall 2008, at the tender age of 33, I was sharing an apartment in Minneapolis with two women from Duluth. Although I’d never met ei..
The Tangential’s Comprehensive Holiday Gift Guide for Everyone On Your Shopping List
For your boss: It’s the holidays, and spirits are high—so why not treat your boss to some spirits? Smirnoff is a nice safe middle-of-the-r..
Business-Style Jargon for the Upwardly Mobile Stoner
Centering Station: Couch
Digital Rolodex: DVR
CSWCW: College student with California weed
Passive item: Something you’re too ..
On Moderation (re: Alcohol) (re: Caffeine)
One night last week, I woke up at 2 AM with a pounding heart and an uncomfortable tightness across my chest. I went through a lot of s..
I’m Trying to Quit Smoking and It Hasn’t Been That Bad
On Monday I decided to kinda, sorta quit smoking. The terms of it go like this:
-I can smoke if someone wants me to smoke outside w..