How to Suck at Sports
1. Harbor irrational fear
While America marveled at the gravity-defying finesse of the parkour craze, I foresaw bone breaking agai..
Products to Accompany Google Glass and Smart Shoe
Google Skin: This data-encrypted silicon is applied directly to the body, much like sunscreen. The silicon dries on contact and acts a..
The “Evil Psychiatrist” Isn’t Helping Anybody
My dad and I are both big movie and TV lovers, and often discuss the stock Evil Psychiatrist character who seems to show up more and m..
Pre-Menstrual Responses: Thoughts vs. Words
Comment: “Wake up, sleepy! You look tired today! You feeling alright?”
Response in Words: “Oh, I’m fine…just need some coffee.” (we..
Dear Older Colleague: Let’s Compromise
Stop using a “valley girl” voice when imitating my generation. Example: “Like, whatever! Everyone knows what the Internet is, duh!” This..
Popular “Life Goals” I’m Happy to Never Achieve
Run a marathon
In my experience, marathon runners are a lot like Wisconsinites; they’re incredibly cool and fun, or they’re braggin..
Insights From My Elders
“It amuses me to see how addicted your generation is to those toys.”
– Co-worker referencing the Blackberry in my hand as she glides ..
Baby Love and the Double Standard
As an English major in college, I was asked countless times if I was interested in teaching as a career. I said I considered teaching at..
How to Celebrate Rejection from the University of Iowa’s Summer Writing Program
If you’re not surprised…
Upon finding the letter in your apartment mailbox, inspect it as you would a flyer you just picked up off ..
Wonders of the Free Market
1. Magic Socks
According to a promotional Magic Socks blog (it’s real), this product line offers:
“A magical collection of socks t..
10 Personal Tidbits I Considered Including in My Tangential Bio
- Once, while traveling by plane, I tried to recall how many times I’ve flown in my life. My family likes to travel. It’s a good thing ..
What Your Favorite TV Shows Can Do for You
Glee
At last, a show for the socially isolated dreamer! Don’t stop believing; despite your “geekiness,” you can rise to the top of ..