A guide to sports terms as applied to nightlife
Teammates: Personal friends.
Opponents: Personal enemies, or frenemies.
Pre-game: Getting together to prepare for the game. Drin..
One of our readers has to say a few words about love at a wedding this weekend, and she asked us to write her speech for her
What is love? We could look it up in the dictionary, but I don’t think that definition would satisfy everyone. We could look it up on ..
When only a Bill Cosby GIF truly understands you
When you tell your boss you’re going to grab a quick lunch and then your check card gets rejected at Jimmy John’s and you don’t know why s..
My eleven most memorable crushes, in chronological order
Circa 1979, Age 4
Who she was: The daughter of my parents’ friends
Physical description: Blonde, cute, big smile
Apex of crush: In ..
The 1990s Project: Garth Brooks’s “No Fences”
All right, Garth Brooks, that’s it. Thanks to you, I’ve now, finally, completely lost patience with contemporary country music. I’m no..
Realest tweets of May
“what is the fascination with marie osmond?” (@jasonzabel, May 4)
“coffee, coffee, coffee…should be done, now! Time to get a cup”..
How to deal with bats in the home without getting bat blood on the couch
My unpleasant experiences with bats in the home started young—infancy, in fact. My aunt Betsy was baby-sitting me; when she went to ch..
The 1990s Project: Beck’s “Odelay” and “Midnite Vultures”
In his suicide note, Kurt Cobain quoted a Neil Young lyric: “It’s better to burn out than to fade away.” It’s Beck, though, who—by doi..
Ten warning signs that a young child is probably going to eventually end up in therapy
1. The child drools uncontrollably.
2. The child wakes up at odd hours during the night, and sleeps for long stretches during the d..
What’s going through the head of a tailgater on the freeway
Damn you, and damn the namby-pamby laws of this ballsless country that keep me from running you off the road and then pulling your mai..
Types of people at a no-pants dance party
The Cruiser. This guy is short and a little funny-looking, which he tries to make work for him. He has a pretty good body, which he sh..
Sobriety tests you apply to yourself when you’re drunk
Am I able to hold a conversation about the kind of thing I discussed sober? This sparkling wit would not spring forth if I was drunk.
..