On Being Tall
The strangest thing about being a 6’4″ guy is the way you keep getting complimented on it. “You’re tall!” women will say, smiling at y..
Michele Bachmann to her children: “I’m not making your choices for you, but I’m making a rule against you taking your pants down with children whose wee-wees look like yours”
“‘I don’t see that it’s the role of a president to go into states and interfere with their state laws,’ said Ms. Bachmann. But then she a..
Why Online Oversharing Totally Rules
Last night I got a call from a friend I hadn’t talked with in a while. After I tried (and probably failed) to talk myself out of the h..
Are alt buzzbands trying to dodge lamestreamers via Google?
When I first started working at a job that required me to regularly Google and link to bands’ websites, I figured that blandly named b..
Why single people are more interesting than people in couples
1. Single people go out and do stuff. People in couples lie around and watch complete seasons of Dexter streaming on Netflix. Single p..
Can a Man Wear Shorts Without Being an Anarchist, a Stoner, or Angus Young?
Coming from a family where my dad wears my uncle’s hand-me-down neckties and my mom wears hoodies salvaged from the lost-and-found bin..
How the World is Going to Go Further to Hell in the Next 20 Years, According to Literary Fiction Set in the Near Future
Teenagers’ acronyms will become increasingly baroque and esoteric, a code that anyone over 30 is helpless to decipher.
Written lang..
A Guide to Fucking Other Relevant Kinds of Girls
As of now, 750 people have shared Jonathan Last-Name-Redacted’s Tangential post “A Guide to Fucking Hipster Girls” on Facebook. It occurre..
Instagram, I Wish I Knew How to Quit You
I tried going just one day without opening my Instagram app. It was…terrible.
I wondered what was happening in the lives of the s..
Things the Antichrist Will Reveal Himself By Saying
“I don’t drink coffee.”
“I’m a social media marketing guru.”
“My Crocs need more Jibbitz.”
“Do Tegan and Sara ever hook up wi..
The Tangential Quiz: Which Manly Product Will Get the Job Done?
Below are promises made by advertisements in the June/July issue of Esquire. Can you name which manly product will supposedly get each..
It’s going to be okay
Your new housemate who was pacing up and down the hall this morning loudly saying, “Eat a banana. Eat a banana. Eat a banana!” was pro..