Confession: I think I’m kind of into the new Netflix series The Goop Lab.
I know, I know. I’m awful. I’m brainwashed. I’m drinking the Goop Kool-Aid, and it’s going down smooth. But I can’t help it, the heart chakra wants what the heart chakra wants.
Each episode is a breezy 30 minutes, covers all the buzziest topics in the “woo woo” health and wellness industry, and features Goop’s svelte and — as we come to learn throughout the series — very anxious staffers. While I might not relate to the svelte part, I can definitely commiserate with my fellow anxiety-riddled millennials and gen Xers.
On the spectrum of the Goop love-it-or-leave-it scale, I fall somewhere in the middle. I take most of what Gwynnie tells me with a grain of salt (organic pink Himalayan salt, thank you very much). I am well aware that those good vibes healing energy stickers won’t fast-track me to a state of nirvana any more than that infamous jade egg will bless me with the fertility of an 18-year-old on spring break. Nevertheless, I own a few quartz crystals and always read my horoscope, just in case.
Despite much of the incensed commentary about the brand’s latest endeavor, I have to admit, I find it to be informative and entertaining — which is exactly what the carefully worded legal disclaimer at the beginning of each episode tells us it should be.
If we could all just agree that the alternative health methods featured on the series are just that — alternative — then we could enjoy the show for what it really is: an HR nightmare documenting a group of co-workers going on a magic-mushroom-tea-infused-journey-of-self-discovery. It’s fun!
The Goop Lab allows me to satisfy all my woo-woo curiosities from the comfort of my couch under the safety of my weighted blanket. Did the show make me briefly consider the benefits of diving into a freezing cold lake to reconnect my body with nature and overcome my deepest fears and anxieties? Why yes, yes it did.
I’m not saying that after watching the Wim Hof episode (Wim Hof Method — Google it) I suddenly believe that I can deep-breathe myself out of hypothermia, but the self-described “crazy Dutchman” builds a strong case. I have no immediate plans to jump into a freezing lake to test this theory out for myself, but living in Minnesota means I always have the option.
With so much injustice in the world, and a long winter still ahead of us, is it really so offensive to want to curl up with Netflix and watch a carefully curated selection of Goop’s finest specimens on the search for enlightenment and everlasting youth?
I say it’s time we embrace the beautiful, messy, Goopiness of it all. Woo-woo wellness is here to stay, so let’s enjoy the journey — together.
But for God’s sake, do not under any circumstances insert anything you buy off the internet into your most sacred of sacred spaces without first consulting your medical doctor.
– Emily Cain