1. The food is better.

I know this is debatable, but Thanksgiving has been getting an automatic pass on the best-holiday-food prize for too long. Yeah, Thanksgiving has turkey and pie, but it also has stuffing and cranberries—both of which are often botched. Easter, on the other hand, is nothing but awesome. Traditional Easter meats are ham and lamb—yum—and a lot of people get egg dishes and hash browns involved as well. Then, there’s the sweet stuff: chocolate galore, including Cadbury eggs. Peeps aren’t for everybody, but the people who love them love them, and unless you happen to live within driving distance of the Mall of America Peeps store, they’re strictly an Easter thing. Have you ever tried to make a diorama with pumpkin pie?

2. The season is more joyful.

Thanksgiving and Christmas both cheat by happening in the fun part of winter, when the first snows are falling and everyone’s enchanted. As soon as New Year’s is over, though, it’s time for three months of misery. Easter, on the other hand, heralds the coming of spring—which means it’s almost summertime. If I said I was going to drop you on one holiday, and you got to choose which one, don’t lie: you’d choose Easter.

3. You get presents.

Here’s the beautiful thing about Easter: if you’re into presents, you can totally arrange it so that the Easter Bunny is generous. If you don’t need any more crap, no problem! You don’t need to buy anything for anyone. Thanksgiving is just boring: there’s food and there’s football, and that’s it.

4. Fun with eggs.

Egg decorating is one of the greatest, weirdest holiday traditions. Everyone buys those little PAAS boxes with the color tablets and the wire egg holder and the shrink-wraps for those lazy bastards. Then, you get to hide them all and have a casual yard game after the candy and before the ham. What you do with the eggs afterwards is totally up to you.

5. The mythology is better.

Giving thanks is important, sure, but Thanksgiving is built on a creaky, largely apocryphal story about colonist-Native detente that whitewashes centuries of exploitation. Easter centers on a gloriously absurd story about a bunny that hops around in a little waistcoat, laying eggs. There’s also the whole Christian thing about the risen Savior and the redemption of the entire human race—and if you’re into that, awesome.

– Jay Gabler