People piss everywhere, but some cities apparently get it worse than others. According to the La Crosse Tribune, our Badger State neighbors have a “constant problem” with public urination at three public parking ramps. Now, the head of La Crosse’s Municipal Parking Utility Board thinks she might have found the solution on YouTube: a piss-proof paint.

A little late to the party, I was the 3,821,279th person to watch this video demonstrating the success of a hydrophobic paint in Hamburg, Germany. It’s kind of a fascinating lesson in physics: I’d never thought about just how much piss doesn’t bounce back when you pee on a wall. It would not have occurred to me that there was anything you could paint a wall with that might deter people from pissing on it, but lo and behold.

If La Crosse were to mix up their own batch of hydrophobic paint, it seems entirely possible that they’d succeed in at least displacing men’s public urination from the walls of the ramps to the ramps’ floors, where the forward-thinking women of Wisconsin have been peeing all along.

Of course, the buried lead in the La Crosse Tribune story isn’t that city employees are on Reddit, it’s that the problem with public urination in La Crosse is centered on three parking ramps. In what combination of circumstances do you (a) need to piss, (b) have clouded judgement about where and when to whip your dick out, and (c) are in a parking ramp? Note to self: stay off the roads in La Crosse around bar close.

– Jay Gabler