When they were learning to talk on ancient Cybertron, how did the Transformers decide which ones would be black, which ones would be Brooklyn mobsters, and which ones would be British?

Given that Cybertron was already running low on energy when the Autobots and Decepticons left, how is Shockwave supposed to hold down the fort for literally four million years?

Were the writers making a political statement by having the leader of the bad guys transform into a pistol? “These ‘Americans,’ as they call themselves, use ambulances and fighter jets, but they worship the handgun!”

Was Soundwave pissed that, after a lifetime of transforming into a streetlight, he got the short end of the stick again when he was repaired after the Earth crash and now transforms into a microcassette recorder instead of something cool like a sports car? (Related: why was Laserbeak’s original form also a microcassette? Do they use analog tape technology on Cybertron too?)

Once the Decepticons are repaired, why do they just take off and assume the ship isn’t going to go ahead and repair all the Autobots too?

How does Optimus Prime assume that a Jeep and a VW, driving out into the desert, are going to find the flying Decepticons wherever they are on Earth? Why do the Autobots drive everywhere instead of flying like the Decepticons?

Re: Starscream and Megatron, isn’t the point of Machiavellian plotting to not tell the person you’re plotting against?

Granted it’s the 80s, but how has absolutely no one noticed the Decepticons building a giant space cruiser from the ruins of a power plant they destroyed by causing an earthquake?

Isn’t it inefficient to make the Autobots wait for their names to be called before they can transform and roll out?

THE VOICE OF JAZZ WAS SCATMAN CROTHERS???

– Jay Gabler