Oh no, I’m at the wrong concert.  Did I buy tickets to iCarly? I’m pretty sure she sings. This could be her concert.

I’m having a stroke, I forgot my own age.  When was I born? Was I even cognitively conscious in the 90s? Just let me be a 90s kid!

Compared to them, I am a genius. So mature, so wise. My base of knowledge compared to them is vast. Come to me my children, Auntie Ana will answer your questions with such sage advice, you will be forever changed.

Oh look, they haven’t quite mastered the bop around at concerts. No kids, you have to bop on the beat, don’t do that awkward sway that looks like you are one of those blow-up stick men outside of car dealerships. Let’s bop together, ready? And 1, 2, 3, 4, and 1, 2, 3, 4. Much better.

What was I was doing when I was 13? I was not at concerts alone. I can’t remember what I was doing at 13. Does this mean I am in some Freaky Friday situation and I am now one of them?

This girl on my right looks like she was in a Freaky Friday switch: she has the eyes of a mom, making sure her kids are safe. It’s okay, Mom, I’ll take over looking after them for a little bit. Go ahead and rest in the back for a little while.

I wonder if people think I’m their babysitter. Can I get paid for this?

Where’s the bar? That’s a safe zone. Maybe their parents are there and I will tell them to save the concerts until they can really appreciate it.

Check out Joe Cool over here. What a little ladies’ man with the tweens. Joe Cool, we are indoors and it is dark in here, there is no need to be wearing sunglasses. One day you will look back and regret that style choice. I’m here to help you out.

How did they get here? Did their mom drop them off?  Is there a mom carpool for their kid’s concerts?  Oh, what if they lied to come here?  That little brown-haired girl looks like she would lie to her mom about going to a concert.

Are those two tweens on a date?! Uh oh, tween number three looks a little jelly…tween love triangle! I was not prepared for tween telenovela drama, but I’m down with it.

What TV shows do the watch? Disney Channel? What is Disney Channel like these days? Do they watch Friends? Everyone should watch Friends. You know, we never really hear what Ross is doing; he’s the missing “friend.” Where is Ross in life these days?

– Ana Lucchese

Photo by Tyle_r (Creative Commons)