– You’re stoned right now. It’s not even 4:20!
-You like Phish.
-You’re 17 and you work at Dominos or any other delivery pizza joint.
-You took time off work during Shark Week.
-You’ve gotten in a fight with a roommate over who gets to smoke the resin in your collective bowl.
-You have a designated code for talking about weed on your cell phone.
-Your DVR is full of episodes of “Planet Earth,” “Yo Gabba Gabba!” and “Tim and Eric.”
-You keep Visine in your glove compartment.
-You have your own variation of The Elvis Sandwich that involves hot sauce.
-You find yourself saying, “This movie would be better if I was high” before realizing you already are. This happens regularly.
-You can explain in detail the different varieties of K2.
-You’ve had a religious experience with Mt. Dew.
-You used a metric system conversion app for an on-the-town weed buy.
-You regularly advocate for “stoned shower sex.”
-Sometimes you smell your pot, just because “it smells so good.”
-You’ve made your own bong.

–Becky Lang and Jay Gabler are not stoners, but they studied many of them in college.